Just Like Animals

I have a friend who loves animals. She is madly allergic to them, which only makes this love affair even more hilarious. She once got herself worked up about an upcoming Dr.'s appointment. She, while expressing her anxiety of said appointment, went off on a rabbit trail. "Oh! Wouldn't be awesome if you walked into a doctor's office and instead of elevator music & silence that only breeds more nerves, they had lots of puppies or kittens?" I nearly drove us off the side of the road laughing at this. Not b/c it was an outrageous thought, but because it was an outrageous thought coming from the Benadryl poster child. She has a sense that most hunting dogs would be envious of. She can hive up just by hugging the owner of a cat or animal of any kind really. She jokingly, unless it could really happen, told me the other day that she wished she could raise a tiger. As we discussed this we began talking about animals that had been taken from the wild, cared for by an unnatural source, then released back into the wild. The animal did not know what to do. It did not want to leave the human family it now had. It would continue to come back to the humans and try to live life the way it had grown to know. I am that animal. A month before I moved to California I had just had Baby B and did not go anywhere. I did not drive due to the healing process that needed to take place. When we first moved to California I did not have a car. I was limited to being at home or with in walking distance from home. I never went anywhere unless it was the weekend and David was with us. I didn’t mind at the time because that is what I had come to know. I found a way to have fun. The boys and I went to the park, we took nature walks, or we played football in the side yard. We had our fun. My dear husband and a friend drove my car out to California the other week. I now have a car of my own here in California to drive. I could finally go to Target, go to the zoo, museums, or even drive into San Francisco any time I want! This is exactly what I have been looking forward to. I have had my car back in my possession for nearly two weeks. I have gone out possibly four times. *insert wide eyed emoji* I find that I am still staying at home doing the same things I had been doing before I had my car back. The boys and I go for longer walks or hike the hill next to our house a little more frequently, but nothing has really changed. My husband has given me the freedom of having a car, but like an animal raised by humans, I keep going back to home. Tonight, I took my son to the movie theater. I used my GPS to find the theater downtown. It may be a smaller downtown, but it was hoping tonight. I started to get nervous trying to find a parking spot and still make it to the movie on time. I finally found a spot to park, got my son out of the car, and walked quickly to where my GPS told me to go. I walked up to the ticket booth with skepticism, as I did not see one person walking in. As I walked up I quickly realized this was a performing arts center not a movie theater. UGH! I explained that I was from out of town and looking for the movie theater. I instantly felt uncultured and like an idiot. We finally made it to the theater and made it in time for the start of the movie. After the movie, and hearing that I was the best momma and getting many kisses on my hand as we walked back to the car, I was filled with happiness, so much so that I did not plug into the GPS the address to get home. I figured it out! It felt so good to be able to go somewhere and not need to look up directions. I am beginning to feel at home.